I Tried to Book a Vow Renewal

Yep.  Operative word – TRIED.  Not one here at Virginia’s House.  I wanted to be a customer and book a vow renewal on Maui as a surprise to my husband for our 20^th Anniversary.  I booked the trip, made a lot of decisions, spent a lot of money and relied heavily on my travel agent.  (She’s fabulous, by the way.)

My travel agent researched my vow renewal options and spoke to the officiant directly.  She gave him my number, me his number, etc.  He did try to call me twice, but both times my husband was with me (remember, I wanted this to be a surprise), so I didn’t answer.   So, I went to the Maui wedding website and tried to communicate with the officiant using email.  The website was relatively easy to get around, but I was confused about beach permits, etc.  I emailed the officiant asking for clarification on beach permits and the dates he had available.  He responded that everything was spelled out specifically on his website AND he required that I be at a desktop, on his website and on the phone with him simultaneously to identify available dates.  I responded that I just needed clarification because his website was a bit confusing to me – he responded AGAIN that his website was crystal clear and that he wouldn’t provide me with available dates until I was on a computer on his website and on the phone with him.  Did I mention we were heading into a holiday weekend?  And that I was not going to be near the three required pieces of equipment simultaneously for nearly a week?   I think I emailed the same basic short list (permits and dates) up to four times.  And got the same response.  Every. Single. Time.

Needless to say, the idea of a vow renewal no longer has the romance I had envisioned attached to it.  I scrapped the idea out of sheer frustration.  I guess I assumed that people do business the way Jody Serey (Spirit and Light) and I do.  Clearly not.

At Virginia’s House, we will communicate with you on your preferred medium.  I have Skyped with a soldier in Iraq and showed him around the venue.  I have texted college students across the country.  I have spoken on the phone with distraught brides at 10pm.  I have emailed never-ending answers to brides with never-ending questions just to make them comfortable.  Jody at Spirit and Light operates the same way.  We will meet you where you are and how you are to make you comfortable with the process.  And we don’t like stress or allow panic.  This is the best way we know how to combat both.

So, to the vow renewing officiant on Maui – best of luck to you.    Your website isn’t as clear as you’d think.  And I won’t be meeting you on my vacation with my husband.  Instead, I think I’ll have Jody from Spirit and Light write me up something special, then I’ll drag hubs out onto the beach and we’ll say nice things to each other while the sun is setting.  In fact, that sounds absolutely perfect to me.  

Debbie

Our family tree says we’re cousins.  First cousins to be exact.  Our mothers are sisters.  But she and her younger sister were more like older sisters to me.  We spent summers, holidays and birthdays together.  She’s four years older than me – and to a kid, so incredibly wise for her age.  

She had the best hair, long nails and cute jeans.  Boys liked her.  Her sister annoyed her.  You know, a regular pretty girl.  I looked up to her.  In a lot of ways, I wanted to be her – or, at least, like her. 

She married young.  I would say 20 years old – making me 16 years old.  She got married at our house, in front of our fireplace.  She wore her mother’s wedding dress – a dress that I love to this day.  She let me be one of her bridesmaids – my very first long dress.  In lavender, no less. 

Perhaps this is the day I decided that weddings would be my life.  My business, my dream, my service to the world.  Or at least my little corner of it. 

Debbie married, had two kids.  My family moved away.  I went to college.  She divorced.  She remarried.  We grew up.  We grew older.  We grew apart. 

We exchanged Christmas cards and birth announcements.  She came to my wedding.  She was there.  I was here.  But somehow – she still felt like my “big sis”.  I knew she was there if I needed her.  I was here if she needed me.

In August, her daughter called me.  She had news.  Not good news.  Cancer news. 

She’s tough.  She’ll fight.  We’re in this together. 

The years.  The years.  The years.  Where did they go? 

January is another call.  This call is hospice.  She’s still fighting, but the cancer is winning. 

Her beautiful hair is gone.  No more cute jeans.  Her nail polish is chipped.  But the sparkle.  The sparkle isn’t gone.  It comes from inside. Where her true beauty is. 

So I will go see her this Thursday.  I’ll sit with her.  We’ll talk.  Or maybe not.  She sleeps a lot.  I’ll lay with my face close to hers.  I need some of her sparkle to rub off on me.  I won’t forget the sparkle.  That won’t die.  Sparkle doesn’t die.  It sparkles.  Just like Debbie. 

Cancer can’t erase the sparkle.